January 30, 2015

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Killing me softly

This kid. Is KILLING ME. 
Not with cuteness. Not with gentle meekness. And certainly not with obedience. 
What started out as a quick trip to Fred Meyers for 2 items- quickly escalated into a $30 near death catastrophe. It all started when we walked in through those looming automatic doors, only to discover that the car carts were all taken. I had my 2 boys with me (ages 3 and 4) and as soon as they discovered there were no blue or red carts with steering wheels for them to ride on, they both burst into full on tantrum seizures. I proceeded to push a regular cart, which they both decided they would allow - only if they could ride it on the same side together, standing up. Great. I was now pushing a 300 pound cart that tipped over every time I tried to make a right turn. 
Within seconds of making it into the actual food part of the store, my 5 year old on a whim decided to hop off the cart and check out a very enticing looking fruit roll-up display. At which point I gently ran over him. The usual crying ensued. Spencer happens to be a professional crier. For the last 2 years he has spent roughly 5-6 hours a day perfecting the sound that can only be described as a cat in heat combined with a rodent being eaten alive. Elderly people all throughout the store had to reach up and turn down their hearing aids. He laid on the (disgusting) tile floor, holding his heels, screaming with giant crocodile tears for me to check to see if "they were BWEEDING". Which, coincidentally they were not. 
Out of desperation to peel him off the ground I suggested we go over to the bakery and ask for a free cookie. The crying came to an abrupt end, at which point both my boys started chanting: Cook-ie. Cook-ie. Cook-ie. Spencer hopped up (miraculously cured by the simple thought of sugar) and we made our way over to the bakery. Im not joking - the cookie guy literally tried to crawl into an oven to hide from us as we got closer and closer. He could sense the impending doom. 
We approached the bakery and knowing what was coming, the cookie man held out two sugar cookies to my boys. This was akin to stretching his hands through the bars of a cage to feed two starving lions a piece of raw meat. Without so much as a chewing motion, my children inhaled their cookies with alarming speed. The cookie man stood there, backing away slowly, holding the little piece of waxed paper. I think he was in shock. I said, "What do you say boys?" and they sat there batting their eyes with a look of confusion on their faces. NOTHING. TOTAL SILENCE. The sprinkles and crumbs on their t-shirts just sat there as they for the first time ever in the history of their lives - refused to speak.  I thanked the baker and we went on our way. 
I quickly made my way to the medicine aisle, and along the way listened to "I want that cereal, I want a yogurt drink, we NEVER get chocolate milk, I NEVER get anything, I want goldfish crackers, I hate eggs." on and on and on. Every time I said No, someone cried. Every time I put something in the cart someone cried. And just when I had about lost my mind, Spencer had to go potty. 
We abandoned our cart by the restrooms and went inside. Spencer carefully opened every single one of the 15 available doors, wondering which potty to use. Once he had found one, he proceeded to tell me not to look at him, and also not to leave. And then roughly 15 minutes (and 6 full length songs) later he gave me permission to wipe him - As long as I didn't see it, smell it, or figure out what color it was. 
Once the bathroom break had come to an end we grabbed our cart and made our way to the check out, where once again I had to submit myself to hostage negotiations: "No you can't have a candy bar. No you can't buy that toy. No we don't need a lighter. That thing is called a handkercheif". etc etc. And then suddenly I got sucked into looking at Bruce Jenner's transgendering face on a magazine for roughly 30 seconds - and when the eerie silence finally made its way to my ears, I realized that dear sweet Benett (my 3 year old) had ripped open a package of trident gum like a wild animal and shoved all 20 pieces into his mouth at once. He was drooling profusely and making a terrible schlurping sound, whilst simultaneously trying to hit me away from him so I didn't take away his treasure. Upon seeing that Benett had successfully won some gum, Spencer started his supersonic crying sound mingled with heart-wrenching sobs: "Why does Benett get GUMMMMMM? I didnt get ANYFINNNNNG. You said NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" At which point I grabbed a Kit Kat, ripped it open and put it in his mouth. This was survival mode, and I just needed the crying to STOP. I was deaf, the checker was deaf, and I could practically hear the lady behind me offering to buy  EVERYONE a candy bar if we would just leave the store.
After paying for the basket of crap that was totally not worth this - I angrily walked my hideous offspring to the car. The whole time telling them how naughty they had acted and that they were not allowed Netflix for the rest of the day, or mac n cheese for lunch, or a trip to Cabellas this weekend (the ultimate punishment.) I threw open the car door, hoisted the boys out of the cart, and instructed them to get in. Spencer obeyed and climbed in the car, taking great care to smear his chocolate kit kat hands along the door frame and chair on the way to his booster seat. But Benett on the hand, did not. Within seconds of throwing my bags into the trunk I saw his little blonde head bobbing away as fast as can be. The little stinker was RUNNING AWAY.
The parking lot was PACKED, it was lunch time, and people were zipping in and out of spaces all around me. I yelled an angry mom scream at him to STOP RIGHT NOW. Which he ignored. I started running after him all the while screaming for him to STOP. He was giggling and full of joy as he sprinted away as fast as his wee legs could carry him. I was angered beyond any point I have ever reached as a parent before. Finally, Benett stopped running. But only because there was a stick lying on the ground and he thought it would make a lovely weapon. Within seconds he was on the run again, but this time he was scraping his stick along the front end of every car he passed by. I kicked it into high gear and finally caught up to him. I gave his hair a sharp tug and told him he was in BIG trouble for running away and that he was in a TIME OUT in the car. Upon hearing his fate, Benett then proceeded to try and break free from my bondage. He swiped at my face, and then when I held down his hands, he began his trademark ninja kicking. By the time I had him buckled in the car I was winded, and sweating. And completely ENRAGED. 
As soon as I started the 3 minute, 1 mile drive back to the house, the boys started whining for me to turn on a movie for them. I told them NO. Because they had just been very bad at the store, and Benett ran away in the parking lot,  and there would be no more TV today. At which point Benett completely lost it. He started banging his head on the back of his car seat, crying, kicking, screaming, wailing and gnashing, and all other biblical descriptions of being possessed.
And then just like that - he projectile vomited. It splashed the back of the chair in front of him and flooded his shirt. 2 packets of pink 'strawberries and cream' oatmeal and a ball of shoplifted trident gum landed in his lap. I was stopped at a red light - And all I could do was lay my head on the steering wheel. 
And that ladies and gentlemen - was my friday.
I love my kids. I really do. BUT OH MY WORD!!!! Today nearly killed me. I am looking forward to eating Superbowl food and self medicating with a variety of caffeinated beverages all weekend in an effort to recover. Ill probably make my way to the bookstore where I will peruse a shelf full of self help books on parenting demon children who wont listen, have a habit of trying to cause harm to you and other children, and who refuse to  understand  or respond to the word NO. *If any of you know if this book exists, please message me.
xoxo Christy
January 28, 2015

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The Day I didnt wear Jeans

I've seen all sorts of adorable printed pants floating around lately and finally convinced myself to try them. Oh dear. I may never stuff myself into jeans again! (Just kidding - my denim addiction is alive and well!!!). But honestly - These are so comfy and dressy at the same time. The perfect pants for spring! I paired them with some open toed shoes, a simple tank top, and lightweight jacket. Oh, and for a little flair I threw on my spiked bracelet combo. Totally in love with those bracelets!!!
The best part of all is that you can pick up a pair of these pants pretty much anywhere: Marshalls, Target, H&M, Nordstrom rack. And the variety of prints are endless. Just like my desire to not suck in. I haven't had an elastic waistband around this body since the era of hammer pants circa 1990 - and I think I'm in love! 
xoxo
Christy
January 26, 2015

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The sag awards: Hits and Misses

Another excellent night of fashion hits and misses has come and gone. Before getting into the outfits - I thought it might be helpful to break down these awards shows and explain why the heck there are so many and just what each one is for. Growing up I was always really confused about who was invited, nominated, hosting, and voting on the winners. So hopefully this is helpful:
Academy Awards (Which officially got re-branded as "The Oscars" in 2013) -  is the major Hollywood film event of the year. The awards are chosen by "The Academy" which is a hush hush invitation only 6,000+ membership of elite past recipients or other notable contributors to film. 
Golden Globes - This is an award for an outstanding performance in TV or film, as judged by the 93 members of the Hollywood Foreign Press association - which is comprised of journalists and photographers in the entertainment industry. 
SAG awards - the winners of this award are voted upon by the Screen Actors Guild-American Federation of Television and Radio Artists (SAG-AFTRA) , which is a 160,000+ membership labor union of actors, journalists, and radio personalities. These awards are considered "the Oscar indicators". 
Emmy Awards - this is to recognize outstanding performances in the TV industry, and is broken down into daytime Emmys and primetime Emmys. Like the Oscars, these awards are voted on by an academy (the academy of TV arts and sciences or ATAS)
Tony Awards - these are held in New York city and recognize outstanding performances in live Broadway theater.
Grammy awards - "the oscars" of the music industry
Alright. So there you have it. Hopefully that helps keep the awards shows straight! Just in case you missed the show, here were the big nominees and winners of the night (in bold)!
Best Film: Birdman, Boyhood, The Theory of Everything, The Imitation Game, The Grand Budapest Hotel
Lead actors: Steve Carrell, Benedict Cumberbatch, Eddie Redmayne, Michael Keaton, Jake Gylenhal
Lead actress: Jennifer Aniston, Felicity Jones, Julianne Moore, Rosamund Pike, Reese Witherspoon
Small sidenote: If Birdman wins the Oscar for best film I will lose faith in humanity. 
Ok, yada yada yada. On with the fashion!
If you haven't seen The Theory of Everything yet please - run, don't walk to your nearest theater and swoon over Eddie Redmayne's acting chops. You will straight up not BELIEVE his performance. I've pegged him as my Oscar winner this year - and his dapper fashion and newlywed glow make him all the more irresistible. (Did you guys know that he rubbed shoulders with Prince William at Eton college???)  If you saw Les Miserables - you know hes as full of talent as he is of British charm. As my sister wisely said: #MariusForever!
I am in awe of Juliana Margulies' timeless perfection. How she has not aged AT ALL is beyond me. And I lovelovelove the blue cobalt color of this dress and the modern high neckline. Her hair, shoes, and jewelry were perfectly styled and she was one of my favorites of the night!
There is so much to love about Lupita Nyong'o. Her youthful cheer, the modern colorfulness of this dress with the graphic stripes - her adorable corn rows and braid. She completely redeemed herself from her floral purple nightmare from the golden globes! I love that she is a risk taker on the red carpet and you never know what you're going to get! I LOVE this dress. I want it in my closet. 
Emma Stone is always styled impeccably. Whether the modern silhouettes are your thing or not - you can't argue that her hair, makeup, nail polish, and shoes make her look stunningly pulled together. I happen to love this take on menswear - especially the pockets. I love the mesh insert at the top although I will admit I am not a fan of the bottom of this dress or the odd belt like situation around her hips. 
Julianne Moore got a little lost in 1999 with this beaded jolly green giant dress. The neckline is all wrong, it needed sleeves, and her hair needed something....oh yes. A brush. Ok, so its not THAT bad - and the color is actually stunning on her. But I'm not a fan of this look overall. 
I don't know where Jennifer Aniston's friends were - but they certainly weren't in the dressing room to talk her out of smashing her pancake boobs into this snake skin dress. 
Claire Danes??? Oh yes, there she is twisted amidst this homemade toga of sorts in an awkward greenish black color with even more awkward hieroglyphics down the side.The karate belt around the middle (is it quilted?!) was the final odd touch to a very baffling ensemble. Oh Claire, you never fail to amuse me!!!
Keira Knightly appeared like the ghost of grandmas past, in this tiered, lace dress, which fittingly happens to be the color of prunes. Perhaps the "baby brain" of pregnancy has made her lose control of her fashion senses. I just hope she has time to fire and hire a new stylist before the Oscars!!!
Laura Carmichael (from Downton Abbey) brought both this exotic Siberian tiger print AND her lazy eye to the SAG awards (Im allowed to say this because I often have a hilarious lazy eye in my pictures!). The worst part of this look though, was how she accidentally got her white linen napkin somehow folded into an origami straightjacket around her bodice. How embarrassing. 
Sophia Bush (from One Tree Hill) looks Stunning. Her dress color kills me - its perfection. I love her hair and makeup and shoes and rings!!!! My favorite look of the night!!
I ADORE this look on Reese Witherspoon. I love the short sleeve (instead of the usual strap), and her smokey eyes and dramatic lips make her look very sultry without being overtly skanky. I think she looks very glam.
Taryn Manning (Orange is the new black) is simply a darling in this Coral gown. Im obsessed with the structured shoulders and cool piecing of sheer panels - but nearly as much as her amazing eye makeup and nude lips. Two thumbs up!
Rosamund Pike gets major kudos for showering and leaving her house in less than 2 months since giving birth to her second son. It appears that her legs have been shaved, and she has even applied lipstick and curled the front of her hair. Even though she basically borrowed the black swan costume that looks like a loofah sponge - I'm impressed she left her house! 
And finally....Dascha Polanco (Orange is the new Black) - is seen here wearing what used to be a tablecloth. Coincidentally, it is the exact same fabric used by Elizabeth Taylor for her "white Diamonds" campaign. Just seeing this dress makes me here the phrase "these always brought me luck"....
Who were your favorite looks from the night? Who do you think needs a new styling team???! If you aren't completely stoked for The Oscars yet, its time to get excited!!!! Save the Date for February 22nd! Ill be Tweeting and Instagramming live!
xoxo
Christy
ps - small disclaimer: These reviews are just my own shallow opinions made in good fun. 
January 23, 2015

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Date Night Casual

Its finally Friday. Which in my world equals date night. And boy, do I need a night out! This week was a doozy. Nothing major to complain about just the usual child related fiascos. My 3 year old ate roughly 16 candy bars off a candygram poster for breakfast this morning (which all things considered was a step in a better direction considering he single handedly consumed a bag of powdered sugar 3 days ago.) My darling 6 year old daughter sustained razor blade/shaving wounds last night as part of a "scuba diver game" gone horribly wrong. (apparently she was trying her hand at shaving and accidentally shaved off a scab on her knee.) As she put it, "everything went fine on my first leg, but when the scuba diver went down my second leg I got cutted and was bleeding EVERYWHERE!" It was traumatic for everyone involved, and we had a nice long talk about how shaving is ONLY for grownups (and mostly just for ladies who aren't married or don't wear tights to church). In other important news, I regret cutting bangs more than I can express. Every time I look in the mirror I see Marie Osmond looking back at me.
 
So if you, like me, have a floor COVERED in laundry that needs put away, cracked out kids on sugar who also happen to be covered in band aids...and a complete and total bomb has destroyed your house from top to bottom - I sincerely hope you got a babysitter and are going out for sushi and a movie. Because YOLO.
Here is some date night casual inspiration for you! See you Monday!
xoxo Christy
 
 
January 22, 2015

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The most amazing DIY hand cream EVER

My Young Living oils addiction grows every time I make anything homemade and throw out more of my processed store bought products. Ever since my youngest was born with severe eczema from head to toe I have had to be really careful about basically everything that touches his skin. Gone were my delicious laundry soaps, dryer sheets, smelly lotions, luxurious shampoos, and bath soaps. It was hello to a world of bland, boring, plain, non delicious smelling EVERYTHING. And I am a sniffer - so this was a tragedy. 

One of my oldest friends in the world, Amanda Swopes introduced me to Young Living this past year - and it has revolutionized our home and the way we clean, deal with sicknesses, do laundry, and even our skincare. Hence this amazing skin cream recipe that I am sharing with you today! I am rationing this tiny jar of goodness, and my kids BEG for just a dab on their hands. It smells like chocolate and feels like silky creamy frosting! It has saved my dry winter skin from cracking and itching and driving me crazy. Best of all - it is SO SIMPLE to make. And makes a perfectly adorable and economical gift.

Amanda has created an amazing website to share her knowledge of integrating essential oils into your life called Amandas Apothecary. This recipe and commentary is pulled directly off her site (because she explains it better than I can!)

Ingredients
Use equal amounts of: (at least 1/4 cup of each works best for mixing)

  • organic coconut oil (I like the Nutiva brand from Costco)
  • organic shea butter (I buy here)
  • organic cocoa butter (I buy here)
Optional - essential oils *see below for amounts (Why we use Young Living)
 
Directions
Combine ingredients together and gently heat until everything melts and the mixture is completely liquid.  You can do this with a double boiler, or I put everything in my stand mixer bowl and then place in a warm oven that is turned off (heat oven to 100 or so, turn off, then place bowl inside for few minutes).  Place ingredients in a mixing bowl if not already, and chill until mixture is set but not necessarily hard.  Then whip in stand mixer for 5-10 minutes.  Add optional essential oils if you like.  I use small glass jars to make different blends and then keep the remainder in a larger glass container.
 
Adding Essential Oils:
1% = 5-6 drops per oz 
2% = 10-12 drops per oz
3% = 15-18 drops per oz
 
Use 1% for babies and children, 2% for general use, and 3% for medicinal/therapeutic use for a particular reason. 
 
Lavender is always nice, as is any citrus combination.  I mix equal amounts of lavender, cedarwood and Peace & Calming for a sleep cream.   
I recommend glass containers and avoiding plastic, particularly if any citrus oils are used. They can pull toxic chemicals from the plastic into your product.  The cream will lose the whipped texture at temperatures over 75-76.  It still works just the same, but you may not have the nice texture you started with.  You can always rewhip if you wish or you can store in the fridge if it's warm inside. This is a homemade product and does not have any preservatives, though the base ingredients are relatively stable. Use in a reasonable amount of time, and avoid contaminating.
So avoid the Hot Mess Express of winter skin and give this moisturizer a try! I wish I could send you all a dab to help you feel its amazingness!! Have questions about essential oils? Want to know how to get your hands on your own kit? Leave a comment and Ill get in touch with you! 
xoxo
Christy

 

January 20, 2015

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Fashion Trends 2015

As I sat watching episodes of friends this past week I was stricken with the hilarity of Jennifer Aniston's wardrobe. She was unarguably the "It Girl" of  90's TV and paved the way for a variety of fashion trends that took a strong hold on women everywhere. First there was the "Rachel Green" haircut. Layers framing the face were all the rage - along with highlights. I had a number of friends that pulled off the Rachel (Megan Friend I'm talking to you!). Along with her famous hair came her inexplicable fondness for overalls, boyfriend jeans, cropped tops, plaid shirts, sleeveless button downs, and menswear. 
As funny as these pictures are - I recall with perfect clarity trying on pair after pair of overalls at "The Cube" in the mall. It was the teenager section of the Bon Marche, and was the go to spot for the latest finds like a cool dress from esprit or a Tommy Hilfiger sweater or even better - a pair of Mossimo or Calvin Klein jeans. I spent more time in those dressing rooms at the mall than I did in classrooms at school. 
The world has changed a lot since 1997. Jennifer Aniston divorced Brad Pitt and her infamous hairstyle. She launched a film career and retired from TV. She dated John Mayer (and we forgave her)...and although she is still considered a fashion trendsetter for simple understated looks, she has pretty much faded from the spotlight. Which got me thinking....who would I consider the current "It girl"? Who in the media is trending the fashions that we try to emulate? Who replaced Rachel Green???
Well in short after pondering this phenomenon - I concluded that today's It girl would be an accumulation of many individuals. We'd have Taylor Swift's talent, Kate Middleton's dresses, Lorde's confidence, Beyonce's moves, Emma Stone's voice, Jessica Alba's entrepreneurial drive, Gwyneth Paltrow's earthiness, Kate Hudson's muscles, Keira Knightly's accent, Tina Fey's sense of humor, Angelina Jolie's humanitarian efforts, Blake Lively's hair, and Jennifer Lawrence's coolness.
As for fashion - we live in a time when anything goes. Somehow... there is even a place for Miley Cyrus. According to Vogue, here are 10 spring trends for 2015 that we can expect to see:
1. Gingham
2.Trouser Suits
3. Suede
4. Bridals or Lace
5. Denim
6. Florals
7. Festival Girl
8. Midriff Baring
9. Fringe
10. Bohemian
Keep these trends in mind while you are stocking up on wardrobe staples and accessories! Are there any trends you are excited to try? Do one of these fit your personal style? Im a huge fan of the Trouser suits (although where would I ever wear one??)  and denim of course. My personal style tends to lean much more towards the scarves and graphic t shirts than any sort of bohemian festival gypsy wear. (But then again I sore Id never wear skinny jeans and here I am.) So don't quote me on that. By the end of 2015 I might look like Claire Danes you  never know!
xoxo
Christy
 
January 16, 2015

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Fifty Shades of Makeup

I have been needing some new makeup for a while now, so I got a babysitter, grabbed a friend, and  scampered into my local Sephora where I basically lost all sense of control and ended up buying an entire pile of makeup. All necessary of course. My favorite find was this hilarious boxed set of limited edition Fifty Shades of Grey products called the "Give in to me collection" featuring a demure and innocent color pallet. Apparently this is what your makeup should look like if you are the verge of stammering breathlessly while trying to deny your animal instincts. 
The set comes with 4 innocent eye shadows (in varying shades of grey) of course) , a black liquid eyeliner marker, a practical nude lipstick and some kissable gloss for when you lose complete control of your senses. It comes in this handy little box to store it all in, complete with tiny little side compartment where you can hide all your sins and secrets.
Supposedly, as the movies are released the makeup collections will come out in darker more scandalous shades of shame. I'm looking forward to trying them all. Even though I have not read the series or plan on seeing any of the movies - I couldn't help but give in to the temptation of trying out the makeup! 
I highly recommend!
xoxo
Christy
January 14, 2015

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Toy Room Inspiration

Our toy is room is...how do I say it? TERMINAL right now. The influx of new Christmas toys destroyed any and all organization that had previously been done, and to top it off we returned from vacation with a lovely leak that had been drip drip dripping along undetected in the wall for who knows how long. The water had bulged the paint off the wall and when we tore it down we discovered much to our horror that black mold had moved in. My poor husband had to rehab the entire front side of the toy room and now every toy we own is piled sky high and covered in a fine mist of drywall. Lovely. 
A year and a half ago I misplaced my common sense and bought two Malshi puppies. I didn't mean to do it, but there they were in the Cabellas parking lot looking tiny and helpless and in need of bow ties. My husband tried to explain the myriad of reasons why we COULD NOT have two dogs....but it was like hearing the teacher speaking from the charlie brown cartoons. Womp womp. I just HAD to have them. 
And thus we came home with the little darlings, totally unprepared for the sheer chaos that was about to unfold. It wasn't the puppies alone that started my slow spiral into madness...but the combined efforts of the puppies PLUS my 5, 3, and 2 year olds. There was just SO MUCH pee. Everywhere. All the time.
You might be asking yourself about now - what the heck this has to do with our toy room? Well let me tell you. Our toy room is actually our 3rd garage bay - which we converted in order to survive wintertime with our children. They were caged animals with nowhere to play and nowhere to store their toys. So walls went up, and carpet went in. The trouble with the toy room ended up being that the puppies could not HELP THEMSELVES and peed in there every chance they got. It was their mission in life to take shifts and sneak in there one after the other to leave little black wet spots on the floor. It didn't matter what I did - I could not get the pee smell out of the carpet. I tried professional cleaners, spot bots, an arsenal of chemicals and natural remedies. I cleaned that floor an insane amount of times. Finally I re-homed one of the puppies to one of my BFFs in an effort to cut the peeing in half.
Now that our little scoundrel of a dog is 18 months old, his accidents are few and far between. However the toy room floor has retained the puppy stench of days of yore - and something has to be done! In light of the leaking that occurred, my husband and I agreed we needed to rip up the flooring and burn it forever. Which means the toy room is getting a major aesthetic overhaul! Yay! My nights have been filled with etsy browsing and pinterest pinning. I am WILD with ideas for our little toy room!
Even though this proves that we are disgustingly unorganized, I need you to have an accurate idea of the mess we are dealing with here. THIS is the toy room:
 
Junk, the new wall, and more junk. I literally have to keep the door closed so I don't see the mess in there from day to day, lest I light a match and let the house burn down. The toy situation is out of control and I am enlisting a professional organizer to help me sort and arrange the endless piles of trinkets. 
Here is my style collage that I put together for room inspiration: 
The walls are aqua colored and I think we are going with a black and white floor. I was a little overwhelmed at the huge amount of options - 
Stay tuned for the final unveiling of the toy room of doom! Goodbye clutter! Goodbye dog pee smell! 
Hello new favorite space!
xoxo Christy
ps - have you seen amazing toy room inspiration? Send me a pin or tag me on instagram (christyatthetopknot)! I'm combing the earth for adorable decor, posters, throws, rugs, shelves, ect!!!
January 13, 2015

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Golden Globes Fashion Recap

I thoroughly enjoyed the Golden Globes Sunday night. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were charmingly hilarious and I giggled with glee at their verbal shenanigans. It may have been too soon for the Bill Cosby jokes but I tipped my hat to the ever popular "who would you rather game".  As for their fashion choices....well...
Its a good thing Tina Fey can charm her way through the world with her wit and sarcasm - because her red carpet dress was odd and looked like a paper lantern ready to be lit by a fire and released into the sky. I liked Amy Poehler's blue dress though, although it was slightly casual veering on boring. The pockets were a nice touch and stacks of diamonds on your wrists are always a good choice. 
Here were my favorite looks of the night - 
Namoi Watts (in yellow) was my MOST adored. She always looks stunning and perfectly styled. Her snake charmer necklace was risky and a little strange, but I didn't mind it! (It was probably hand sculpted out of flawless diamond powder or unicorn horns.) Amal Clooney was a close second for best dressed - but this could be because of her British accent or the fact that she won the gold medal of celebrity olympics and married George Clooney. Overall the majority of attendees looked great, and there wasn't much to scoff at. But never you fear, I managed to find a few ;)
 
Lupita Nyong'o is definitely getting invited to my next girls craft night - cause this girl can work a silk flower like nobody's business. Imagine what she could do with a glue gun and some glitter? If this dress is any indication of the level of artistic expression that she is capable of - we would be in for a REAL TREAT!
Here is the lovely Claire Danes in her prairie dress that she hand sewed while her ma was churning butter and her Pa was rustling cattle. Im not even sure what is going on here. Did she pick this up off the weird clearance rack at Anthropologie?  Was she raised by gypsies? Does she smell like patchouli oil???
Kerry Washington? Is that you?` I almost didn't recognize her in this queen of hearts gown made out of quilted Charmin. I feel like I cant breathe looking at her corset lines squeezing the life out of her midsection. How can a gown look like it is made out of both satin AND tin foil simultaneously??? Usually she is one of my red carpet favorites.Sadly, this dress will go down in the color blocked flames of hell this week. 
*No undergarments were harmed in the making of this look.
Dear Kate Hudson, I have been wearing your workout clothes from Fabletics for a year now, and my waist still looks like dough rising in a warm windowsill. I would like to know your secret to looking like you have never given birth or eaten a carbohydrate in your life. Also, what brand of tape are you using to keep your dress in place? As you must trust it a great deal. Do you and Jennifer Lopez have the same stylist? 
Love, Christy
Speaking of Jennifer Lopez...How is it that Jenny looks like she never made it off the block??? (Although I wouldn't dare say that to her face because you know she would pull out a prison shiv from her bra and cstab me with it along with scratching my eyes out with her 4 inch long fingernails.) 
Its a good thing there weren't any giant moth eating birds flying overhead or we may have lost one of Hollywood's brightest young starlets: Keira Knightly. I literally have no words for this weird ruffled cocoon. Perhaps by Academy Award season she will emerge from within this tiered lace straight jacket and emerge as her actual beautiful self. Time will tell. 
For some awkward reason Lana Del Ray came as "sexy grandma circa 1986" in this slinky pleated sea foam nightgown. It definitely gave me some summertime sadness. 
Jennifer Aniston came as a man this year. That is all. 
And here we have Miss Jessica Chastain in her delicate nightgown the color and texture of a chocolate fondue fountain. She must be shopping the same granny's closet as Lana Del Ray. The only thing missing from this look is a walker and a small yipping white lap dog with runny red eyes. 
 
 I saved the BEST for last. As I was watching the show my BFF texted me the following picture of Kristen Wiig. It perfectly put into words exactly how I was feeling about her dress:
If only she had bothered to accessorize with baby hands. I would have given her white cowboy wedding dress two very tiny awkward thumbs up. 
I hope you enjoyed this year's Golden Globes as much as I did!!! Its like the appetizers to the Oscars and I am so excited to see all the fashion hits and misses in the upcoming months. There are some EXCELLENT films being shown right now ( Boyhood, Cake, Wild, The Imitation game, Foxhole, The Theory of everything...to name a few). Leave a comment and tell me your favorite looks of the night or films of the season!!
xoxo
Christy
January 10, 2015

4 Comments


Adventures in Jamberrys!

* I am not affiliated with nor do I sell Jamberry nails!

So maybe you've seen the adorable Jamberry nail wraps floating around online - or maybe you've even attended a home party where you've gotten to give them a try! I had my eyes on them for a while and then by a stroke a pre-christmas fortune my sister in-law hosted a party! My shopping addiction collided with my indecisiveness and I ended up buying 8 sheets to give as gifts to my mom and sisters. The variety of designs was almost too much for me to handle: florals, metallics, matte, stripes, geometric, solids, glitter - Anything your heart desires. 

I kept a few sheets for myself and have been waiting for an opportune time to attempt applying them so yesterday was the day! The first step for me whenever I do something potentially dangerous/humiliating is to rope a few sweet innocent friends into joining me. And in this case, I felt it as especially important to find girls who were 1. Younger and hipper than me and 2. Girls who were into nails and owned the essential supplies - like a nail buffer. Meet my adorable babysitter Grace and her older sister and someday architect Valerie. Also, please admire our fancy hands that were painted and prepped for wrap application!

In retrospect it may have been a better plan to apply the wrap and THEN paint the rest of our nails since they were wet and we kept messing them up! We were rebels - dont be like us!

Once you wipe down your nails with polish remover and push back cuticles, the first step is to take your freakishly long skinny barbie hand and measure which wrap fits your nail. Then you cut it off the sheet and peel off the clear backing. Next was the tricky part of heating up the wrap with your slightly dangerous blow dryer from Ross. I simultaneously burned myself and blew the rap onto my wet thumb nail roughly 3 times before it was curling up at the edges and ready to apply. When you do finally apply the wrap - put it on with the rounded end towards the base of your nail - duh. After putting it down the wrong way TWICE I finally figured this out! (also when Grace nicely pointed out that I was doing it wrong. Repeatedly.)

Once you have firmly pressed the wrap down, and burned yourself again with the blow dryer to adhere the wrap to your nail - you need to trim the excess off the top. A normal person would have dainty little nail scissors to make this task quick and easy. But not us. We had my trusty old baby nail clippers that I luckily found in the kitchen junk drawer. It was either those or the kitchen shears! Once they are cut to size you just bufff away the harsh edges and smooth them down if needed. 

And Voila! You have a fancy schmancy manicure! A special thanks to my partners in crime: the Mitchell girls, Who entertained me with stories of young love, unicorns, health, Christmas, and the new amazing shop called LUSH in the Village that I am desperate to visit!

You girls keep me young ;)

xoxo Christy

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