Blind again.
In the 3rd grade, we finally figured out that I was blind as a bat. This should have been an obvious observation, since I was pummeled in the face repeatedly as a child during dodgeball in PE without so much as an attempt to protect myself...AND was the coordinated equivalent of Bambi learning to walk. I also couldn't do math. (Which sadly, now we know- had nothing to do with my eyesight.)
Once my teachers clued my parents in - I became the proud owner of a tiny round tortoiseshell pair of glasses - with lenses roughly 6 inches thick. I sported those beauties for a few years, and then upgraded to a huge pair of Sally Jesse Raphaels, which really were wire rimmed with a bar across the middle in signature bright red. I do recall the Optician trying to talk me into sizing down into a more attractive frame, but no. I knew what I wanted, and I wanted these:
Its a very sad, extremely true story. And there is the grainy 1992 picture to prove it. THANKFULLY by the 5th grade my parents had taken mercy on me and gotten me contact lenses. And then after College graduation they gifted me Lasik, and I had all but forgotten the tortuous blindness of my past...
Until now.
Earlier this year I started squinting at the TV and driving like an elderly person. I couldn't read street signs or drive at all after dark, and if it was raining outside I literally couldn't leave my house. And so....these:
You guys - just TELL me If I am repeating the mistakes of my past! If I were a hipster, I would look awesome with these frames. But...Im just a tired momwife with a small head - and therefore I look ridiculous. HOWEVER....I am learning to adapt to my new blind status and embrace the frames! After all, this does mean I get to shop for even MORE accessories! (Which is basically my love language ).
How come I see adorable girls with glasses on ALL THE TIME??? But I put them on and I immediately turn into some type of giant spinster insect? It's truly bewildering. I've had a hard time finding frames that look cute on me. Partly because I have a tiny pin head - and partly because when I try on glasses Im actually too blind to see if they look good or not. ( A bitter irony, indeed.)
Have you heard of Zenni Optical? A friend (thanks Leslie, you lifesaver!) told me about them this year and I have just placed my first order of glasses on the cheap. I cant wait for them to get here. Seriously 2 pairs of glasses shipped to me for less than $20? Not too shabby.
Im off to do some light reading on quantum physics and molecular biology now. (Which, roughly translated means season 5 of Friends is calling and Fashion be darned, Im just excited to be able to see the TV without squinting!)
xoxo Christy
Comments
Jessica said:
Oh dear! I understand your pain. I won’t post my glasses photos but yes, the chic, hipster, side swept bang, juice cleanse. effortlessly glam look has evaded me as well. I’ve tried makeup tutorials for girls in glasses but I usually look more like Tina Fey or gasp Sarah Palin. One man did remark that a pretty girl who was nearly blind was kind of the perfect thing (think Marilyn Monroe in “How to Marry a Millionaire,”) so I would suggest just running with that. ;)
Hailey said:
you are hilarious! And look adorable in those glasses! I don’t know what you’re worried about!